Nacer Puto y Argentino

“Tanto me vas a cobrar? Pero anda a la mierda puto del orto!”. “Que pecho frío estos putos”. “Uh, pero que putito te viniste vestido hoy.” Leí una y otra vez hasta que no me contuve más y pregunté, “porqué seguís usando ‘puto’ como un adjetivo descalificativo?,” y su respuesta fue … (la nada misma).

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En Argentina descalificarse entre unos y otros es algo cotidiano y muy arraigado a nuestra cultura. No puede pasar un día sin que no escuches o no digas “boludo”, “pelotudo”, “gil, “nabo”. No como algo negativo, todo lo contrario, lo usamos para demostrar afecto y confianza al otro. Claro que cuando nos enojamos le damas un significado muy distinto. Pero que interesante esta costumbre ‘argenta’ de “putear” que nos acostumbró a denigrarnos tan sutilmente. No me parece nada tremendo, de hecho yo mismo hago uso de esos adjetivos constantemente, cuando entiendo que no estoy ofendiendo a nadie.

Ahora bien, decir “boludo” es lo mismo que decir “puto”?. “Qué haces puto? Cómo va?,” es un saludo simpático o ignorante?. No es difícil darnos cuenta que ambas palabras están muy lejos de significar lo mismo, boludo: poco inteligente, puto: gay. Entonces porqué se siguen usando indiscriminadamente? Porqué la “joda” de hacerse pasar por gay sigue considerándose algo gracioso? Continue reading “Nacer Puto y Argentino”

Gay Pride Hypocrisy

Gay-Pride

-Really? Is that still a thing?- I said with discomfort while watching a show. I was referring to the homophobia of a father to his son. We are in 2016, I don’t understand why people may think that you cannot be succesful if you are openly gay with so many examples that demonstrate the opposite.

But then I wondered if I was being honest with myself. I knew I wasn’t. I am still very conscious of the anti-gay discrimination. I still know that it exists. And I am still aware of what I do in my daily life that is affected by it.

In Argentina I never walked holding hands with a guy. I only gave a kiss on the street once. I was aware. I was very aware. I used to say that I was worried that someone could feel uncomfortable looking at me being with my boyfriend, but in reality I was the one that didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of people staring at me.

And that was understandable. Argentina represents all those years of my young life where people called me faggot and tried to beat me, because I was too feminine for their “masculine standadrs”. Continue reading “Gay Pride Hypocrisy”

Get It Straight: Being Gay + Testing For HIV = Fear

If you are a gay man, you will understand this; if you are a straight person and do not have a close gay friend (if that is your situation you should re-think your life, gay friends can teach you a lot -just saying) it’s time for you to know this:

Being gay and get tested for HIV sucks.

Since the first reported cases of HIV-AIDS in the 80’s in the US and around the World, anti-gay campaigns and media sensationalism have spread the idea that the infection was only for people with homosexual tendencies, specially men. Misinformation, fear and ignorance filled everyone’s mind.

In the US the estimated incidence of HIV has remained stable overall in recent years, at about 50,000 new HIV infections per year. Luckily now you can live a long life with it. But we are still afraid. I know that gay and bisexual men are the vast majority of the cases, but that is not the point of this post. Today I just want to share my experience.

Going to take the test for the first time was one of the hardest things I have had to do. I could not tell anybody. I had had a sexual encounter with somebody I did not know. Not unprotected, but it had been with a guy, so I was supposed to get tested. I went to a doctor and I told him I wanted to do a blood test to control my cholesterol and, hey, why not a HIV test, too.I could not tell him I was gay, but I did say I had sex with somebody I had just met. I needed his prescription to take it to the clinic. I went and had my blood drawn, that was the easy part. The hard part was to wait, wait and wait. It took six days for the results to be ready, but it felt like a million. Continue reading “Get It Straight: Being Gay + Testing For HIV = Fear”

Abandoned By My Passport

Tomorrow, April 3rd, my permission to stay in the country as a tourist will expire and I will be stuck in Limbo.

Passport

Since I came in October to the US I’ve felt weird. I am used to traveling and I have always done it with a tourist visa. I came to this country before and I traveled across both coasts and I had a great time. I went to Europe and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I felt alive. I have never felt uncomfortable. I was free. I did what I wanted when I wanted. This time is different. I came to see my boyfriend and he ended up proposing to me. Of course I said yes, but deep inside in that precise moment I felt something. Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being different, fear of feeling imprisoned. And that feeling didn’t go away, on the contrary, it is still with me and it is stronger than never. Continue reading “Abandoned By My Passport”

Race Doesn’t Want Me On Its Team

Race Babies

Great! That wasn’t complicated at all, next step and I know they are going to call me. Personal information.. I can do that.

“Ethnicity, Are you Hispanic or Latino? (A person of Cuban, Mexican, Puerto Rican, South or Central American, or other Spanish culture origin, regardless of race)”

Regarless of race? Wait. What does it mean? Hispanic is one thing and Latino is another. The first one is related to ancient Hispania (Iberian Peninsula) and now it relates to Spain, its history and culture. Latino, on the other hand, refers more exclusively to persons of Latin American origin.

Next question: “Race, please select: 1-American Indian or Alaska Native, 2-Asian, 3-Black or African American, 4-Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander, 5-White, 6-Two or More Races”

Which race should I choose then? I know I am from Argentina, South America, but does it mean that I don’t have a race or we Argentinians and the rest of South America have too many races?

Continue reading “Race Doesn’t Want Me On Its Team”

I’m Coming Out

… as a Person of Color

My hair is black, my eyes are brown and my skin…

brown?, red?, hispanic/latin?

Coming-out

Like I said in “Who Am I?”, my decision to start a website was after I read Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. That is why I will post quotes from the book and ideas that she mentioned there. I am not trying to copy her. I just want to share my experience and I know there are a lot of people like me and I would love to hear their stories.

While eagerly reading every page I started to develop a new passion, a new appreciation of a concept that I have never took the time to analyze: Race.

Race is defined as a group of people identified as distinct from other groups because of supposed physical or genetic traits shared by the group. A group of people united or classified together on the basis of common history, nationality, or geographic distribution.

In my country we are all the same. Argentina was colonized in the 16th century by Spain, and later there was also a big Italian immigration. They were white, so I never had the idea of considering myself as someone non-white. I thought there were only two races: the antagonism between black&white was the only thing I could think about.

Continue reading “I’m Coming Out”